ten secrets

1.  I am atheist. This doesn't mean I don't respect your beliefs. I just don't share them. I feel like Christianity and religion is a tool to control the behavior of the masses...it also give people hope through times of famine and war and struggle. It's not a bad thing; it's just not my thing. I hate when people try to push their beliefs on others.

2.  I constantly batter myself about my body image...but I don't make time to take care of myself. I hate my body after children. I'd love for my husband or a girlfriend or someone to kick me in the ass and get me in a gym or working out at home or something! :::ladies, this is my call of help to you:::

3.  I want one more baby before I'm 30...I wouldn't be unhappy if they were twins. Twins run on my mom's side of the family. My grandmother is a twin. I want another baby or two. I'll be 27 on New Year's...so it needs to happen pretty soon...but I don't mind waiting for Zeek nugget to get out of diapers first. I'd like another girl. There were three kids in my family: Me, then my brother Tony, and my baby sis Megan...I'd like to repeat that structure.

Tony, Me, Megan in the Early 90s!

4.  Most girls pray for big boobs...I was one of them but I wish I never had! Before kids, I was a perfect DD (ask Catalina's father Terrence...they were nice!) but now I'm a fucking F! An F people! It's hard to find cute bras and when I do, they cost a fortune! I want a breast reduction...and a tummy tuck after I'm done having babies and I lose all this weight. I look like one of those tribal broads in the National Geographics Magazines! I want to go back to the days when my breasts were perky without a bra.....before kids and gravity sunk in. Oh, and since I'm being so honest, my left boob is slightly larger than my right boob! WTF is up with that?! It's like my boobs are racing to my belly button and the left one is winning!

Oh how I miss the days of cute Victoria's Secret bras and panties! When I get my reduction, a C-cup will be perfect!

5.  The day I found out that I was pregnant with Catalina I had an audition to be an exotic dancer...I didn't go. I would have loved that job! I had a nice body, great natural boobs, and I was confident. I loved dancing and I have always wanted to learn how to work the pole. It looks so fun and naughty!

6.  I miss being a dreadhead. It was the best time of my life and I will be dreading my hair back up soon...like it or not Matty. And I want more tattoos and body piercings...and a job that will let me have them! I used to have two tongue rings, my nipples pierced, lip ring, and a belly button ring. I started getting tattooed at 16 and haven't had anything new since I turned 18 and had to start paying bills. :(

7.  I was quite promiscuous in my youth. Not putting a number out there but I got around...and I had a good time doing it! Fuck your sexual double standards! If I were a man, you'd say P-I-M-P or "go playa" but I know what you're thinking...something more like SLUT or "I can't believe she just said that." I lived my teenage years like a rock star though: sex - drugs - and rock 'n roll. I must have used up all of my sex drive though 'cause mama don't put out much these days...or is that just part of married life?

8.  My children are proof that the pull-out-method doesn't work very well!  The best accidents I've ever made though...NO regrets there. I had Catalina when I was 21 and still finished my college degree after having her. I was 25 when I had Ezekiel. Matty and I had only been seeing each other like two months when we found out! I was so not excited at first...but then when I realized how happy Matty was to be having his first child, I changed my outlook and shared his joy. I knew that any baby I'd have would be beautiful!

9.  We married for convenience...I hope it grows into love. I think Matty pulled the "keep a bitch" on me. He was ready to get married and have a baby and all that stuff. I didn't want that...and I thought I made that clear to him when we met. We married for the benefits: he'd get more pay, my babies and I would get medical coverage, tax breaks, etc. I regret not having the big white wedding and Daddy warned me that I would...we had a court house ceremony. The truth is we rushed into things. We got married when I was six months pregnant. We hadn't even known each other a year. We're still getting to know each other. I have a great man: he's not a drunk (very straight edge), he's a hardworking man, he takes care of his family, he's continuing his education, and has goals for himself! I love these qualities about him BUT other than our son our strong work ethic and the Navy, we don't have shit in common...we're from completely different walks of life. AND...

That's right I got married in Black! Look how nervous we both look!

10.  I am a nagging bitch with control issues at home...I'm sure he thinks this. I hate being in the passenger seat while my husband drives (could be because of a bad car accident I was in when I was hit by some squid that ran a red light). I don't believe the TV should be on while you're doing homework (especially NOT football). I HATE coming home to a dirty house (especially if he's been home all day...tidy up please, you know it stresses me the F*ck out....but I have to admit, damn near all the clutter on the dresser is mine and I haven't been putting my dirty dishes into the dishwasher...so it is partly my mess too). I want things done my way or they're not done right. I know what you're thinking: this bitch needs a chill pill. And you're right my friend!